You Are Being Watched, Arena Shows, Scary Mushrooms, and Rs

Six (at least) Suits of Armor Guarding House, Birmingham AL

We were in a neighborhood that we’re not familiar with on Monday, looking for a restaurant we had heard wonderful things about when we passed by this house.

There are four suits of armor on the roof, at least two on the front porch, and…you can’t see it here, but a faux crocodile guarding the fountain in this home’s side courtyard. And how many homes do you know have a big clock above the front door?

I would love to meet the people that live here. I think.

That reminded me of a place I’ve heard of called Medieval Times – it’s a dinner and ‘tournament’ place where you eat while performers do things like jousting and…oh gosh, you know, I have no idea really, but that kind of King Arthur thing I guess. There are several of them around, even one in Atlanta.

In Pigeon Forge, Tennessee and a couple of other places, there’s a similar-type dinner show, except it’s called Dixie Stampede and I heard that if you go, you either cheer on the Yankees or the Rebels.

When I just Googled these two places, I found two other dinner ‘adventures’ – one called Pirate’s Dinner Adventure and another called Arabian Nights.

I’ve never been to any of those places, but I wonder if it might be fun…I mean, is it so hokey it’s funny, or is it something you can genuinely get into?

I’ve been to a regular dinner theater two or three times – but those are places where you watch a regular play/show on a small stage rather than be in an arena with thirty horses running around. The first time I went to dinner theater was in high school, I think with my Speech and Drama class, and we saw “Do Patent Leather Shoes Really Reflect Up?” about experiences in a Catholic private school.

I will never forget it, because we got served a salad with mushrooms and I got choked on one. Could not breathe. I mean, I could not breathe!! My best friend Beky saw what was going on and was just about to either put me in the Heimlich or call the teacher or whatever and I *begged* her – while choking and turning blue – with some kind of impromptu sign language – to Do.Not.Do.Anything.

Seriously, it was high school. We were all having a good time. And I would have rather died there on the spot than everybody know that I was not big-girl enough to eat a mushroom without choking! hahahaha!!!

Well, somehow, it worked out and I’m still here. But that thought of everything stopping and everyone watching me turn into Violet Beauregarde was too much to bear. Oh, especially during high school.

As it turned out, I switched out of Speech and Drama class during the Christmas break for some other elective I was interested in. Speech and Drama had been so frustrating.

Our teacher was *wonderful* – beyond wonderful. She was very big on enunciating every single syllable. “Mountain” wasn’t “mown’n” anymore. It was MOWN TEHN (or something like that). And the word “towel” was supposed to sound like it was spelled rather than “tahl”. Every word that had an “R” at the end was actually supposed to be spoken with an “R” at the end! Can you imagine!?


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